


A Step Too Far

by RedTartanCurtains



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Brash Anne Lister, F/F, Filthy, Naive Ann Walker, Oral Sex, Sex Education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-06-25 13:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19746478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedTartanCurtains/pseuds/RedTartanCurtains
Summary: Short piece about Anne's desire to have Miss Walker experience as much pleasure as possible. Sadly, innocent Miss Walker finds the experience a little too much.





	1. Chapter 1

Emboldened by the extra glass of wine over dinner, I decided to show sweet, innocent Ann Walker exactly how pleasurable the pleasures of the flesh could be. I’d stayed the night several times of late, always with a satisfactory response from Miss Walker. She was impressed by my knowledge of her body. By how I could elicit a moan from a purposefully placed kiss to her neck, or make her body quake by gently gliding my thumb over her most sensitive bundle of nerves. 

That night, I intended to show her a trick I learnt in Paris. Her inexperienced body responded to my touch with enthusiasm during our usual love making, so I was looking forward to applying my knowledge to deliver even greater gratification. 

On her sumptuous bed, we kissed with much passion. Sharing kiss after kiss, both eager for more and not able to get enough nor express our feelings to our satisfaction. I began my assault on her beautiful, long neck. I knew that once I started working my way down her throat, she would agree to anything.

“I want to try something new,” I murmured, sucking at the soft skin at the base of her throat.

“Hmm?” She questioned.

“May I try something new?” I asked, seeking permission before properly explaining exactly what I had in mind.

“What?” Ann asked.

“Something pleasurable. Something fun,” I enthused. I withdrew my kiss and looked her in the eye mischievously. 

“Yes, yes,” she agreed quickly, pulling me close and encouraging me to carry on. The loss of the kiss was too much for her, as I had predicted. 

“I’ll need to undress you,” I explained. “Fully.”

“Fully?” She questioned, a hint of a scandalised tone in her voice.

“Fully.” I punctuated the point with a kiss.

“Oh. I see.” She nodded her agreement.

I set to work on removing her undergarments. I’d seen hints of what lay underneath and I’d certainly touched everything I could reach, both above and below the clothing. I kissed her, taking her mind off of the probably unsettling nature of being completely bare. I, myself, had rarely completely bared myself to anyone. Maybe Miss Walker would be the one to break me of that habit.

But not right now.

Now I had other plans. I all but wrestled her out of her garments, throwing them to the floor as soon as the opportunity arose. She looked a little lost, obviously wondering what was about to happen. I didn’t let her wonder for too long.

“I’m going to kiss you,” I explained. “Just a kiss.”

“All right,” she said, her voice a husky whisper, dripping with desire.

I quickly positioned myself between her legs, took her ankles and raised them up to ensure her legs were bent at the knees. She looked delightfully confused, but I knew the pleasure was all the greater in that position. Without warning, I lowered my body, winked at her, and lowered my face to her cunt.

She gasped before I even applied my tongue to her hidden pearl. Her hand rested on the back of my head, I didn’t know whether she meant to keep me there or pull me away. Regardless, I opened my mouth and ran my tongue from her delicious velvet purse up to the bundle of nerves that I knew would drive her wild. 

She screamed. An outright scream of pleasure. It may have been attempting to be a word, but I couldn’t tell as her milky white thighs clamped shut around my head and muffled all sounds in the room. Her hand was now buried in my hair, holding me in place. I smirked as I swiped my tongue around her silky pearl, which had immediately risen out of its hiding place. Thankful to finally be able to come out and play, I dare say. 

I wrapped one arm around her thigh, holding her tightly in place lest she start to slip away with all the thrashing about she was doing. She was meeting my every thrust, involuntarily it seemed as she gasped and panted in time with the strokes of my tongue. 

I looked up to see the hand not attached to my head was clawing at the pillow beside her. Her entire body was contorted, writhing up in a desperate need to reach something she clearly didn’t understand. No sign of a weak spine, I thought to myself with a chuckle. I always knew that oral sex would drive her wild. Having never experienced anything so raw and so, supposedly, wrong, it was obvious that innocent Miss Walker would find the practice to be more than acceptable. With the right teacher. 

I redoubled my efforts, enjoying the feeling of being buffeted around as if I were aboard a ship in rough seas. I suckled on the small bundle, rewarded with an almighty shout of pleasure. So I did it again. And then again. Each time hearing a cry in return. I took pity on her and slid my free hand up and, without a moment of hesitation, entered her soaking wet cunt with one finger. 

I looked up to check she was all right; her chest and cheeks were bright red with exertion. Her breath was coming in large, raggedy pants, her cries only came when she had enough air in her lungs to manage. I closed my eyes and focused on keeping a steady, fast rhythm. My tongue swirled and then flicked, massaging and then punishing in quick succession. My finger, my index one naturally, thrusting in and out at a great speed. 

I’d yet to see Ann Walker really coming apart. I always knew it would be possible, her sweet naivety and lack of experience combined with her openness to try new things meant it had always been tantalisingly possible to drive her to new heights. 

I could feel her approaching her climax, but I was greedily not ready for my power over her to end. I slowed the speed of my tongue, hoping that the change of pace would throw her off the impending explosion. It did. 

The bed was thrusting along with us now and I was pleased for the excellent craftmanship. I opened my eyes and could see that the red on Ann’s chest was spreading and her cheeks were flushed in an interesting shade I’d never seen before. She was still panting for breath and crying out, her hand still buried in my hair in an almost painful grip.

I took pity on her. I set up a steady pace, knowing that would bring her to climax in no time. My tongue whipped across her nub; my finger angled up to find the sensitive area inside her soft, deep purse. 

I felt the fluttering deep inside her. Then her thighs started to shake around my ears. Her pants became impossibly louder and I itched to finish her off so I could document the experience in my journal. I picked up the pace a little more. Her body quaked relentlessly, and I congratulated myself at a job well done. Thighs squeezed my head before flopping to either side. I maintained the pace of my finger inside her, wrenching out every last drop of climax.

Now my ears were free from the fleshy prison of her thighs, I could hear the gasps, moans, pants, and desperate utterances of my name fill the room. The climax, usually over in a matter of seconds for dear Miss Walker, seemed to stretch on and on. Possibly because I found myself unable to drag my tongue away from the silky nub that quivered like a violin string. 

“S-stop.”

It took me a couple of moments to register the word, but once I did, I paused the movements of my tongue and lips and looked up. I eased my finger gently from her, marvelling at the pool of hot liquid that stained the bedsheets below her entrance. 

Ann’s body continued to shake, her breath coming in fast gasps. I wiped my soaked finger on the bedsheet and swiped at my chin with my other hand. Her wetness was everywhere, and I felt delightfully debauched.

It was then I realised that Ann was struggling to catch her breath. I’d been so busy mentally patting myself on the back that I hadn’t taken the time to stop and check if she was all right. 

“Ann?” I questioned.

There was no reply as she was now deep in the process of hyperventilating. Her eyes were wild as the panic started to set in.

I quickly moved up the bed, taking her in my arms and cradling her softly.

“Breath,” I instructed. “Slowly and deeply, in and then out.”

For a brief second, I worried that she wouldn’t be able to follow my commands, that I had permanently damaged her. Why had I thought oral stimulation such a fine idea when Miss Walker was clearly so delicate?

I brushed her hair from her face, useless to do anymore. I couldn’t very well breath for her. Although I feared I might have to try if she couldn’t regain control soon.

“Everything is okay,” I promised. “Deep breaths.”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but was in actuality only a minute or two, her breathing started to become less laboured. I guided her through the process, encouraging the deeper breaths and advising her that all would be well through the shallower ones.

“I-I don’t think I want to do that again,” she finally confessed when her breathing allowed the formation of words.

My heart sunk. I had gone too far. I had taken the sweetest woman and pushed her beyond her boundaries, assuming that her own lust for sexual enterprise matched my own. Now she was fearful. Her climax had been wrenched from her, delayed to a point of excruciating postponement and then torn from her without warning. I’d sought to increase the pleasure by pushing the climax to last as long as I could force it. In doing so, I’d terrified my love. Her body had responded in a way she didn’t understand, with no hope of regaining control she had slipped into a cycle of breathless panic. 

“Anne? We don’t have to do that again, do we?” Her voice was pleading and weak from the screaming. 

“No, of course not. We never have to do anything you don’t wish for,” I told her plainly. “I’m sorry, I—”

“No, it is I who is sorry. I am not… enough for you.”

“No, that’s not the case at all. I pushed you too hard, I shouldn’t have—”

“I don’t wish to talk about it,” Ann said.

Her breath was still laboured, and I didn’t want to cause her any further pain. 

“Of course,” I readily agreed. 

I could feel her start to sag against me, the exhaustion quickly claiming her. I helped to position her, grabbing the sheets to cover her against the chill in the night air. I ran my hand over her face in a move I hoped was soothing. Her cheeks were flushed in a red so angry I worried I had caused some enduring damage. I internally cursed myself, my desire to dominate Ann Walker, to have something to brag about in my diary, had pushed me to do something I now deeply regretted. 

Still, a small part of me knew that Ann had enjoyed the experience. She had climaxed and presumably experienced a pleasure beyond what she could comprehend. I wondered if I would be able to convince her to try the adventure again, but in a more controlled circumstance. Could I encourage Ann to allow me to pleasure her in that way a second time, but this time with Ann in full control of my ministrations? Now I wanted to heal the wounds I had caused and show her nothing but pure pleasure, a pleasure she could endure and enjoy. 

If she would allow. I settled into the bed, cursing my foolish recklessness and planning to do anything I could to make amends.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning after I felt restless and made an excuse to leave Miss Walker’s side as soon as possible. It was no secret that she could lounge in bed for far longer than I. Often, I would stay much longer than I would have otherwise desired just to spend more time with her. But after my unforgiveable actions of the night before, I sought escape. 

“Ann,” I whispered, already dressed and prepared to go. The sun had just risen, and I felt guilty for waking her. However, I knew better than to leave without saying a word or, even worse, leaving a note. I knew that Miss Walker needed to hear me and see me, directly.

“Ann, my dearest?” I tried again, a tad louder this time.

She moaned as one eye opened. She looked at me and then looked towards the window, seemingly checking if it were day. 

“I must go,” I told her apologetically. “I have meetings. But I will return later tonight, if I may?”

“Come for dinner?” She asked sleepily.

I felt a smile take over my face. I nodded sharply. “I will. I’ll come for dinner. Go back to sleep.”

I placed a kiss on her forehead, chuckling gently at how she needed absolutely no convincing as her eyes fluttered closed.

***

I arrived back at Shibden and immediately set about documenting the night’s events in my journal. I felt shame at my wicked behaviour, greedily taking what I wanted and making assumptions about Miss Walker and her preparedness for such actions.

I had pushed Miss Walker through every step of our relationship, worried that she may change her mind at any given point. From the first kisses, to the first touches, to our love making, to asking her to move in with me and make a life with me in Shibden. I’d been selfish, something I’d frequently been accused of but never something I felt as keenly as I did now. 

I’d convinced myself that I was generously gifting pleasure when I was actually enjoying my power over Miss Walker. A power that I had abused and now thoroughly regretted. I needed to make amends, but I had no idea how. 

I angrily slammed my journal closed. I always believed that answers came with the right amount of strategic thought and deliberation. So far, no answers had prevented themselves and I felt I was going mad trying to find them.

Thankfully, I had plenty to keep me occupied. The work on the estate was proceeding nicely, but the men still needed to be supervised. I had a meeting in town with my solicitor regarding the Rawsons and the coal. Neither task was pleasant but both would aid in keeping me occupied until that evening and dinner. 

Dinner where I would throw myself on Miss Walker’s mercy. And, hopefully, I would have come up with a solution by then.

***

James opened the door and I strode into the entrance hallway, tossing my gloves into my hat. I held my hat out towards him and could immediately tell something was wrong by the way he regarded me.

“Is Miss Walker in?” I asked, redundantly because where else would she be?

He took my hat and held out an arm for my coat. “She is. I’m afraid she is unwell, Miss Lister,” he replied sombrely.

“Unwell?”

“Yes, she is still in bed.”

“Still?” I blinked.

“From this morning. She said she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t wish to be disturbed.”

Obviously, James was astute enough to know that not wishing to be disturbed never included me. Or he and the other servants were cowardly enough to put the problem at my door. Either way, I gladly took the responsibility.

I placed my coat over his outstretched arm. “I’ll speak with her.” 

He nodded and left to place my things away and presumably report to the other servants that I had arrived. I took the steps two at a time, eager to see the woman I now wished I hadn’t left that morning.

I knocked and entered without waiting for a reply, no sense in wasting time. The bed was empty and unmade.

“Ann?” I questioned.

I was greeted by silence but could sense that something was wrong. I stepped further into the room. On the other side of the bed, on the floor with her back against the wall and her knees protectively hugged to her chest sat Miss Walker. 

It wasn’t the first time I had found her like this, but I found it had no less impact with regularity. Fear still struck me down each time I saw her cowering in a corner with tears staining her cheeks.

“Ann?” I rushed to her and crouched down beside her. “Are you all right?”

“You’re going to leave me,” she said with certainty.

“Oh, really?” I silently thanked the lord that what ailed her was something I could reassure her about. 

“Yes. I can’t… I can’t give you what you want. I’m not good enough for you, so you’ll leave me.” Her head lowered, her forehead resting on her knees.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” I asked. I reached forward and stroked her hair.

“For now,” came the muffled reply. “But you won’t stay. I wouldn’t blame you for leaving. I’m not very good at those things.”

The emphasis on the word ‘those’ would have made me smile if it hadn’t been for the seriousness of the situation. 

“Well, on the contrary, I find you very good at those things,” I told her. “In fact, it’s I who is not very good at those things. Not very good at all if I made you feel like this.”

She slowly raised her head and stared at me in confusion. “I—”

“Reacted in a perfectly reasonable way under the circumstances,” I explained. “You didn’t know what was happening, I made the decision—the wrong decision—to introduce you to something far too soon. And, on top of that, I didn’t once stop to check if you were all right and wanted to continue. So, you see, it is I who is not very good at those things.”

Miss Walker’s head shook vigorously. “No. It is I who is wrong. I reacted… strangely. I am a strange person, many have said so in the past.”

I waved away the criticism. “Nonsense, you’re not strange and I’m not here to debate what people say about you. It’s of no consequence to me. Nor should it be of any consequence to you.” I took her hand and maintained eye contact. “The fact of the matter is, I took control in a situation where I had no right doing so. Matters of the flesh, well, they should involve love and respect and communication. But I took your lack of experience and assumed it gave me some kind of jurisdiction over you and for that, I am very sorry.”

I could see that she remained unsure. My latest faux pa would take a while to fix. I had to ensure I remained resolute in doing so. Ann Walker was a magnificent creature, but she was delicate. With time, that delicacy could increase in intensity and potentially reduce her a shell of the wonderful woman I saw in front of me. I understood now that if I were to be lucky enough to have any role in her life, it would be one of constant bolstering. With encouragement and support, Ann Walker could flourish in a way she’d yet to manage.

“I think we should eat,” I suggested. “No wonder you feel so down, what with not having eaten all day.”

“You don’t eat all day,” Ann pointed out.

“I have a hearty breakfast and an evening meal,” I argued. “But just because I choose to skip the middle meal that doesn’t mean you should. I’m built differently.”

I stood up and held out my hand. “Let’s see what we can salvage of the rest of the evening shall we?”

She placed her hand in mine and I helped her to stand. “I don’t know why you put up with me,” she mumbled.

“Because I am in love,” I answered plainly. “I don’t see it as putting up with you, I see it as spending time with someone I greatly enjoy spending time with. And, I’m sorry about last night.”

Ann raised her hand, an indication that she didn’t wish to discuss it. That wouldn’t do at all. To move beyond the problem, she had to address it. I opened my mouth with every intention of arguing, but snapped it shut when I realised that I was doing it again. I was taking charge and pushing Ann to do something she plainly didn’t want to do.

An idea hit me in that moment, I had pushed darling Ann far too often. Maybe it was time to sit back and let Ann do the pushing. It would be a wonderful experiment, what would Ann Walker choose to do if she were given free reign for once?


	3. Chapter 3

We ate dinner in relative silence. The occasional scrape of cutlery on porcelain the only sound. Ann seemed distant, lost in her thoughts. I didn’t mind too much as my own brain was swirling with ideas. 

The idea of Ann being in charge was actually rather exhilarating. I wondered how much control I wanted to give. Would it just be for activities of the night, or perhaps it would extend into the day? Would the change in the balance of power have a positive or negative effect on Miss Walker? The last thing I wanted to do was make matters worse.

It made sense that I should attempt to rectify all of the power issues we had. Or at least float the idea with Ann.

“You’re cross,” Ann whispered.

“Not at all, merely lost in thought,” I replied, snatching a bread roll from the table. 

“No, I can tell you’re cross.”

“I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m not.” I made eye contact and smiled as warmly as I could. “How do you think I could do that?”

Ann had once confided, ever so briefly, that her father had been a fearsome man. It appeared that he had often lashed out at Ann’s mother, sister, or Ann herself. This seemed to have resulted in a terror of angering others, something which left a cold knot in my stomach. 

I knew that one day I would hear more of the sorrowful tale, but for now I knew that Ann’s fear of making someone cross was pronounced and something to be diffused as quickly as possible. 

Ann looked at me thoughtfully, confusion in her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“Why do you think I’m cross?” I asked.

“Because you are so quiet with me.”

“Then let’s talk, and dissuade you of the idea that I’m cross.” I smiled again. “What shall we discuss?”

Ann’s eyebrows rose. It was a rare occurrence indeed that I allowed her to choose a subject, often I would take control of conversation and talk about whatever interested me. My latest readings, thoughts on scientific advancements, politics, my upcoming travels as well as my past adventures. 

“I…” Her mouth hung open, uncertainty in her eyes. She closed her mouth and clenched her jaw in a determined way. I watched with fascination as she struggled to come up with a topic but also refused to be beaten by the question. Relief sparked in her beautiful eyes. “You said you were lost in thought,” she said. “Would you care to share those thoughts?”

I ripped my bread roll in two and reached for the butter dish. “I would love to. In fact, my thoughts involve you.”

“Me?”

“You,” I confirmed. I slathered butter on the roll and took a bite, deciding carefully on my wording before continuing. “You see, it’s come to my attention that I’m entirely too forceful.”

“Forceful?”

“Yes. A bull in a china shop, if you will. I charge in. And that’s all well and good when dealing with my sister, or with tenants. But you are neither.”

“I don’t need you to… to treat me like a child,” Ann argued, sensing the conversation was heading in a very different direction. 

“Absolutely, I agree. And I think that sometimes, I do,” I explained. “So, when I was lost in my thoughts, they were thoughts of relinquishing some of that control to you. Allowing, no, encouraging, you to be a decision maker. To decide what we do, and when we do it. Last night opened my eyes to a behaviour of mine that I don’t altogether enjoy when we are together. I’m a bully.”

Ann almost gasped. Her hand reached out to grab mine. “You are not a bully, Anne.”

“I am.” I held her hand, continuing to take small bites of the bread roll with my free hand. “Take last Sunday, for example, what did we do?”

“We went to Halifax, to the book store,” Ann replied.

“And what did you want to do?”

“I wanted to visit my cousin.”

“Precisely, but I took charge and we went to the book store. What about the Wednesday before that?”

Ann ruffled her nose in deep thought. 

“Correspondence,” I reminded her. “We caught up on your correspondence, when you actually wanted to take a walk in the garden. And the Monday before that, you wanted to look at new dresses, but I wanted to visit the quarry to ensure the stones I had ordered for the new walkway at Shibden were in order.”

“You’re right,” Ann said softly, her voice distant as if only just realising these things. 

“And then last night,” I continued.

She held up her hand. “No, please, Anne.”

“Last night, I pushed again,” I said. “I’ll say no more about it, but my behaviour was inexcusable. However, it did lead me to realise that I need to stop taking the lead in everything. It’s important that we’re equals.”

I didn’t mention that we were most certainly not equals. Her money far exceeded my own means. Thankfully, Ann never paid much mind to money, something I suppose came with having so very much of it. 

“Equals?” She frowned, as if the very thought of such a thing was foreign to her. 

“Yes, you should decide what we do sometimes. You should take control, seize the initiative.”

Pure confusion clouded her features. “I don’t think I know how to,” she confessed. “I don’t know if I want to. I like that you decide what we do.”

I chuckled softly. This would be harder than I thought. Of course, Miss Walker had never been in a position of command in her life. She followed society, or convention, or the men who surrounded her. We were like night and day, where I forged my own path, she followed the existing one mapped out for her. 

It was suddenly obvious that I couldn’t simply hand over so much control to her, the pressure would be too much. It was up to me to consider her needs and desires and to take them into consideration when making decisions. However, that didn’t change the facts of the previous night. In that area I remained resolute, Miss Walker would take the lead.

“Very well,” I said. “I understand that may be a rather large change for you.”

I squeezed her hand and withdrew mine. I wiped my hands on my napkin and then turned to face her, a serious expression on my face.

“I do think it’s important, however, that you consider taking control over certain aspects of our time together,” I said, looking at her meaningfully.

I could see from the furrowed brow that she had yet to catch up to my meaning. I waited. Her mouth started to form an o and her eyes widened.

“I… I couldn’t possibly—”

“Of course you can,” I told her. “It’s really quite simple, you tell me what you want. When you want it. It won’t be any different from what we do now, except you’ll control the reigns.” 

She reached for her wine glasses and swallowed three large mouthfuls in quick succession. I watched with interest. 

“I… I… would be…”

“In control,” I confirmed. “So that no more events like yesterday happen. If you want more, or less, of anything… you say.”

“When do I have to decide by?” She asked.

I shook my head. “It’s not a decision to make, it’s a decision that’s been made.” I frowned and then rubbed my forehead with distraction. “I realise that sounds like I’m controlling you again, but this is really about you having the opportunity to choose, to direct our actions. From now on, Ann, you are in charge. Of those kind of activities, at least.”

“I…” She started and then stopped speaking. She stared at the candles that flickered on the table and softly worried her lip between her teeth. It was fascinating to me to see her processing like this. Watching the input go in and be categorised, opinions drawn, conclusions made. 

Suddenly, her eyes snapped up to meet mine. She gave a determined nod. 

“Very well,” she said. “Then that’s what I’ll do.”

Strangely, I felt a delightful surge between my legs at seeing my beloved agree to the terms. The resolve in her gaze made me wonder, and relish the idea of, what would come next.


	4. Chapter 4

Three nights had passed since the dinner where Miss Walker had agreed with my plan. During those days and nights, I itched to kiss her, to lay with her, to touch her. But I refrained. It was up to Ann to make those decisions and initiate any intimacy she was comfortable with. 

Two of the three nights, I returned to my own bed at Shibden. The middle evening, I’d stayed over, but only to sleep by Miss Walker’s side. The lack of connection had me concerned and wondering if I truly had ruined everything with my clumsy and blunt actions a few nights previous. 

I looked up from my book to observe Ann. She was using the fading afternoon light—a storm was rolling in—to sketch in front of the large drawing room window. Her brow was furrowed, and her head tilted from one side to the other as she examined the paper. She applied short, determined marks and paused every so often to evaluate her work. 

I marvelled at how I’d ever considered her plain to the eye. For now, she was breath-taking to me. Her golden hair, her poised profile, the sparkle in her eyes, and the way she licked her lips as she concentrated. 

Suddenly, she closed her sketch book with a decisive bang. I raised my eyebrow at the action.

“I think we should go upstairs,” she said as she put her drawing things away.

I blinked in surprise. I checked my pocket watch; it was two fifteen. 

“Unless you don’t wish to?” She asked, clearly curious by my inactivity.

I closed my pocket watch and tossed my book onto the space beside me on the sofa. 

“I’d love to,” I readily agreed. I hadn’t known when or even if we’d touch again, the unexpected request was gratefully received.

She glided from the room and I had to hurry to keep up with her. It seemed she was keen. Keen for what, precisely, I did not know. She opened her bedroom door and gestured for me to step in. I considered it a strange reversal of our positions, for I would always open a door for her or offer my hand to her for balance. The small change seemed fitting considering our conversation.

I entered the room, stood in the middle, and waited. She closed the door behind her and locked it. She turned and looked at me, curiosity, mischief, and hunger clear in her eyes. She stalked closer, looking me up and down. 

She’s wondering what to do with me, I realised. A smirk must have graced my lips because she looked displeased and shook her head. I was about to speak when she held up a hand to silence me. 

I remained silent and watched as she looked around the room. Her eyes finally settled on me and I felt a strange sinking feeling at the satisfaction I found in her gaze.

“Your cravat,” she said, pointing to the black silk scarf at my neck. “Give it to me.”

I opened my mouth, a smug comment at the ready, but quickly saw sense and remained silent. Ann Walker was instructing me, this was a delicate situation, I needed to ensure that she felt confident enough to continue. Even if I did have to confess to feeling slightly out of my depth.

“Quickly,” she ordered at my continued delay.

Without thinking, I raised my hands to my neck and undid the knot holding the fabric in place. I couldn’t fathom what was going through her mind, what her plan could be. Of course, I was well aware what I would do if the situation was reversed. But with Ann at the helm, I couldn’t tell. And it was delightfully appealing.

I pulled the silk away from my skin and held it out to her. She took it with one hand while gesturing in a circle with the other. 

“Turn around.”

I did as instructed. I felt her presence behind me and a moment later the material was used to blindfold me.

“Am I not allowed to see you this afternoon?” I quipped.

“No. You judge me with your silent looks,” Ann replied, tying the scarf tightly in place.

“I do not,” I argued.

“You do.”

I opened my mouth, again to retaliate. But I stopped myself. I did judge. I was always judging, everyone and everything. It was hardly a surprise that Ann had noticed that behaviour, also no surprise that she didn’t want me to watch her taking tentative steps into this new world.

And so, I was plunge into darkness. Rightfully so, I surmised.

“Can you see?” She asked, her voice suddenly gentle, as if wondering if she had overstepped.

“Not a thing,” I confessed.

“Is… is it too tight? I should remove it, I’m sorry.” Her voice had lost the authoritative tone and I could tell she was again questioning herself. One step forward, two steps back. I needed to right the ship.

I took a small step back from where I assumed she was standing and gently raised my hands. 

“No, it’s perfectly fine. I want you to do this, I’m intrigued. Please, proceed.” I attempted to sound comfortable and relaxed, even though I was anything but. I didn’t know what would come next, and I started to realise little by little that this must be Ann’s perspective on a regular basis. I had no idea my actions would have made her feel so unsettled. My resolve to allow Ann her control over me strengthened in that moment. 

A hand gently grasped my forearm. “If you want me to stop,” Ann said, her voice so soft I could barely hear her.

“Then I’ll say,” I assured her. 

The hand left my arm and a few hesitant moments later I felt fingers loosening the buttons at my waistcoat. I tried to keep my breathing even, no easy task when I was effectively blind and could feel eager fingers nimbly removing my clothing, my armour.

I hadn’t intended to be fully unclothed in front of Ann, not today, not for some time. If I could possibly help it, hardly ever. It wasn’t something I’d ever been comfortable with. Normally I would shy away, take control and use distraction to ensure I remained unseen. But I’d made this deal with Ann, so I wasn’t about to go back on it now. Not when I knew exactly the kind of damage it would do to our burgeoning relationship. And certainly not when I needed to make amends. 

The final button was unhooked and I felt my waistcoat hang loosely open. Ann pulled my shirt out of my skirt and started on those buttons, this time starting at the bottom and working her way up. 

“I want to see you, Anne Lister,” she said, an uncharacteristically seductive tone to her voice. “Properly.”

“So I understand,” I replied, hoping she didn’t detect the slight waver in my voice.

“I know you’re not keen,” Ann said as she continued to undo buttons. “But I hope I can make you forget all about that.”

Warm lips captured mine. I attempted to regain a little control by pushing my advantage with my mouth. To my surprise, Ann returned the kiss with a passion I’d never realised she possessed. My attempts to stun her with open-mouth kisses were rendered useless when she reciprocated easily. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and it was quickly met by hers. I wished that I could see this new, brave, passionate Ann who had been lurking all this time. 

The last button of my shirt was dealt with and both my waistcoat and shirt hung open. Suddenly, the kiss was over and my arms were taken in a strong grip. I was being moved, I wasn’t sure where and stumbled slightly. The bed hit the back of my legs and Ann pushed me into a seating position. I was about to complain, or at least make a clever remark, when I felt my boots being untied. I itched to reach up and tug the makeshift blindfold off.

“Don’t move,” Ann said, as if sensing my thoughts. 

“Would I?” I asked flippantly.

“Yes. You would.”

I couldn’t argue with her. I waited patiently while she unlaced and removed both of my boots. She grabbed my hands and pulled me back up to my feet. 

“I’m going to undress you,” she explained. There was no question of whether or not I wanted to be undressed, it was said with such surety that I found myself unwilling to argue. I felt safe and secure, knowing that Ann wished for it and it would be so. 

My desire to please her, and the knowledge that she would be gentle with me, trumping my desire to remain fully clothed for the first time in memory. I knew then that Ann Walker was more than a beautiful woman who had somehow stolen my heart, she was someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. The thought buoyed me and gave a strength and bravery I didn’t know existed when it came to my own flesh. 

I decided to not argue and instead revelled in the feeling of nimble hands going to work on my various layers of clothing. Drawstrings and buttons were quickly dealt with and before long I felt the cool air of the room against my skin. 

I felt utterly ridiculous. Exposed in the very truest meaning on the word. Naked but for my cravat which was now wrapped around my eyes. I couldn’t imagine how preposterous I looked.

“Anne, you’re… beautiful,” she whispered with such sincerity that I felt a blush heat my cheeks. “I mean, I always knew… but…” her voice trailed off. I felt her take a step closer, knowing that she was right in front of me without being able to see her. I wondered how I knew, was it a six sense I was previously unaware of? Was I attuned to the sound of her breathing? 

“Kiss me,” she whispered. 

I tilted my head slowly forward, a movement I had recently perfected. With a dip of my head our lips met, and I pressed a soft, slow kiss to her mouth. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and I felt the material of her dress, heightening my awareness that I was naked, and she was still fully clothed. It seemed unfair, and yet… I found myself enjoying it. I was at Ann’s mercy. And I liked it.

I increased the intensity of the kiss, forcing her mouth to open in the frenzy. Just as I was about to slip my tongue against hers, she pulled away. I moaned at the loss.

“No, no… I think… not yet,” she rambled. I felt pleased that I’d nearly managed to seduce her and obviously had succeeded at rattling her. “You need to be on the bed.”

“Where is the bed?” I asked.

“Oh! Silly me.” She took my arm and gently led me towards it. I sat down.

For a moment there was silence and I knew she was again wondering what to do with me. I didn’t mind waiting. So far her efforts had been worth the wait. The silence dragged on and I began to wonder what the issue was.

“Ann?” I eventually asked, hoping the tremble in my voice wasn’t too detectable.

“Just a moment,” she said.

I waited, I could now hear movement and the sound of fabric rustling. 

“Are you getting undressed?” I asked, my interest now piqued. 

“You’ll find out,” she replied. 

I squeezed my thighs together, sending a jolt to my core. I wanted to rip the blasted blindfold from my eyes. I wanted to sweep Ann into my arms, lay her down on the bed, and have my way with her. But that could wait. I’d made a promise, and I intended to keep it. I was now keenly aware of how I had been misusing the balance of power in my favour. 

I heard movement and a moment later I felt a hand on my shoulder, and then another on my other shoulder. A second later I felt Ann’s warm, soft, and very naked body climb onto mine as she straddled me. Her thighs slid around mine, her naked queer barely touching the tops of my legs. Her breasts pressed against mine and my breath left in a flash.

“Ann,” I murmured without permission. I wrapped her body in my arms, relishing the feel of her completely naked body clutched to mine. She shifted a little, bringing herself impossibly closer, resting her head on my shoulder and draping her arms around my back.

We sat that way for a few silent minutes. I tried to tell myself I was doing it for Ann’s benefit, so she could become acclimatised to the arrangement. But, in truth, I needed the time as well. This was a sensation I’d never experienced before, and it was equal parts exhilarating and confusing.

“I want to taste you,” Ann whispered in my ear. 

Before I could ask what she meant, I felt her body leave mine and instantly regretted the loss. Insistent hands guided me further onto the bed and laid me down. 

“Can I remove the cravat?” I asked.

“No,” she replied. No hesitation in her voice. I didn’t argue.

She climbed on top of me again. I gasped at the sensation of her queer above mine.

“Sorry,” she apologised, adjusting her weight.

I reached up and grabbed her hips, pressed her back exactly where she’d been. I was desperate for the feel of her intimate area so close to mine. 

Her hands took my wrists and pulled them away from her hips and lowered them to the bed.

“You’re not in charge of me, Miss Lister,” she informed me in a light tone. I felt her hands tighten around my wrists which were now being pushed into the soft sheets of the bed on either side of my body. For the first time in my life, I wondered what it would be like to be restrained. The thought sent a flood of wetness through me.

“Ann,” I gasped. “Please, I nee—”

I was silenced by her lips on mine. I eagerly intensified the kiss, hoping to demonstrate to her how desperate I was becoming, how much I needed her touch. She let go of my hands, one clutching at my left breast and the other pulling my legs apart.

Who was this woman? Where was the naïve Ann Walker who I had guided through her sexual awakening? She had me completely at her mercy. And I had to confess that I was enjoying it. Even if I did feel an almost painful need between my thighs that simply needed to be quenched.

I gasped into her mouth. Her lips started their decent down my cheek, to my jaw, and onto my throat. I started to softly move my head from side to side, hoping to loosen the damned cravat so I could see events with my own eyes.

She stopped moving. I stopped moving. My heart was hammering so hard it was reverberating in my ears.

“Are you trying to remove the cravat?” 

I thought for a second before I muttered a negative which sounded extremely unconvincing, even to my own ears.

“If you remove the cravat, I will put my clothes on and go back downstairs and continue with my drawing.”

I pressed the back of my head down into the pillow, hoping that it would keep the wretched cravat in place just in case I had loosened it. I couldn’t imagine stopping now. 

During the pause, she moved my legs so they were spread open, her own naked body sandwiched in the middle. 

“You can’t be trusted,” she said, a light scolding tone.

“I can,” I denied.

“You can’t,” she disagreed. “I’ll just have to hurry along with what I wanted to do.”

Excitement and panic floated through me. She had a plan. There was something she wanted to do. To do to me. I wondered what it was but a hot mouth over my right breast stopped any semblance of thought.

I cried out in pleasure. Other women had touched me, other women had kissed me, but I had never, never, felt like this before. Whether it was the loss of my sight, or the loss of control, or the incredible woman who was now nestled atop me and sucking enthusiastically at my bosom, I couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, I was grateful for it.

All of a sudden, she vanished. Another gasp left my lips and I wondered when I had become this feeble creature who had to express every emotion through exhales of breath. The bed moved beneath me as she repositioned herself. I felt like reaching out and pulling her to me, but I was in no doubt that action would be rebuked.

I couldn’t tell where she was or what she was about to do. My breathing spiked and I lay very still as I waited for whatever would come next. 

I yelped. Actually yelped when I felt an inquisitive tongue upon my bared purse. She paused her movement.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered.

She didn’t require anymore encouragement, tongue and eager lips approached my queer. I gasped for breath. Ann Walker, my sweet, innocent, Ann Walker was exploring my most private region with her soft tongue.

She settled into position, wrapping her arms around my thighs and increasing her exploration. It was clear that she was unpractised as she glided over my clitoris and lapped around the outer lips. I could feel that I was about to explode in what was undoubtedly the fastest orgasm I had ever achieved. But release kept eluding me as Ann’s unskilled tongue moved in entirely the wrong location. 

I had to take control, damn the consequences. I’d surely die unless I had my release. I reached between my legs and gently took her head in my hands.

“That’s incredible,” I told her as I softly guided her back to my clitoris. “Find the pearl.”

She redoubled her efforts, I could feel the concentration flowing from her in waves and meeting my own arousal in the air above us. Her tongue was soft and flowed leisurely around the area. 

I repositioned her a little more, bringing my hips up to meet her tongue. She hit the right spot and I cried out.

“There!” I ordered. “There, small circles. Use the tip of your tongue. Harder. Harder, Ann, please.”

The commands drifted into begging as I pleaded with her to maintain or increase pressure, to focus her attentions in one spot or return to circling my hardened pearl. I arched my back, desperate to move but unwilling to shift my hips in case the result was an end to the delicious pleasure being rained down on me. 

Ann Walker was many things and an exceptionally fast learner was one of those things. It took less than a minute for me to cry out in pleasure, a distant worry that the servants might have heard the guttural cry. My thighs shook uncontrollably as Ann continued to run her tongue over my gushing queer. 

It was the last thing I remembered.

***

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. I was in bed, covered by a sheet.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

I looked up at Ann’s sweet face. She sat on the bed, fully dressed, reading from her bible. 

“I fell asleep?” I asked, shocked.

“Yes, after you…” she blushed and waved her hand in the general direction of the lower half of my body. “I thought I’d let you rest. It will be dinner in a while.”

I sat up, holding the sheet to my naked chest as I did. I looked around the room in confusion, wondering how much time had passed. I looked at the bedside cabinet but my trusty pocket watch wasn’t there, instead my cravat took its place, neatly folded. 

I bit my lip to cover my widening smile. I’d fallen asleep following what was quite likely the greatest sexual experience of my life. I’d spent all of my life giving pleasure and terrified of receiving it myself. I’d always remained fully clothed and in control. But once I’d given that control up, wondrous things had happened. 

“Was I…” Ann fell silent. “I mean, did… was it…”

I turned to look at her, a smirk on my lips. “Was what?”

Ann glared at me in frustration. “You know what I want to ask.”

“You were magnificent,” I said, taking pity on her. “And a very fast learner. I hope there will be a repeat performance.”

Her smile lit up the room. She lowered her head as pink embarrassment highlighted her cheeks. “I do too. But I… I don’t know if I’m ready. For that, I mean. Yet.”

I quickly nodded. “At your own pace.” I practically salivated at thought of being able to taste her again. 

“Yes,” she said with confidence. “At my own pace.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and commented, and especially to those who waited so long for the final chapter. I'm done with this story now, maybe done with writing fan fiction all together but we shall see.


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